March 12th marked 6 months since we lost the referral for "A".
March 14th was "A"'s 2nd birthday. We have no idea where she is, but we have turned her over to God knowing that only He can provide for and protect her.
March 19th marked 6 months since we resubmitted our dossier to Bulgaria.
The truth? I fully expected us to have received another referral by now, but we haven't. As a sat stewing and praying and whining about all of this the other day, I had a thought which I think holds a lot of value. Things will not be the same a year from now.
And they won't. I believe that.
This past six months has been an interesting season of life for us. I won't say bad because it hasn't all been bad. Although, heaven knows, it's had its moments. But it has been a season of growing and learning and stretching in ways that are sometimes (often) uncomfortable.
The thing about seasons is that don't last forever, and as one leaves and the other enters, I'm almost always ready for it. As we move into spring, my favorite season with its crazy unpredictable weather, I'm reminded that in rain and storms new life is born. If plants only have sunshine, they'll eventually wither and die. Sunshine is necessary in healthy doses, but rain, in particular thunderstorm rain, fertilizes and adds nitrogen to the soil.
I can't help but think that God knew what He was doing when He set it up this way. Storms can be exhausting. They can be destructive. They can be devastating. But they can also be enriching. And after the storm passes, we often find that those things which we thought were destroyed come back even stronger than before.
I'm learning to trust God each and every moment. I want a referral now, but I'm learning to trust Him, not only for a referral, but for a daughter who is meant to live with us . . . for a little girl meant to be part of our family.
This journey isn't easy, and this part, the waiting part, is only the beginning of what is a lifelong journey. I'm eager to see what lies ahead.