Saturday, August 2, 2014

Emotions . . . I Got 'Em

One week from today Patrick and I will be on a plane, somewhere above the Atlantic, bound for Bulgaria to meet our baby girl.

In the past week I've been asked numerous times how I feel . . .

"Are you . . .  Excited? Anxious? Nervous? Terrified? Overjoyed? Thrilled? Overwhelmed?"

My answer is, "Yes". To every single one of those questions you will get a resounding, "Yes". It's hard to put my finger on my emotions right now. At any given moment, I'm likely to be feeling a combination of all of the above.

Meeting our daughter for the first time is both thrilling and terrifying. There is no way to accurately express my feelings about the upcoming trip. I can't wait to lay eyes on her. To see that she is well and cared for. To hold her and play with her. But I'm already dreading leaving. I'm finding out that I'm not a huge fan of having two kids on two different continents. They both belong in my house where I can see them and touch them and kiss them while they sleep.

And then there's the fact that we're leaving Andrew here. Ummm . . . I may be a bit of a helicopter parent. I'm working on it. Maybe I'll start a support group . . . but the longest that Andrew has been away from both Patrick and me at the same time is right at 24 hours. So this is new territory for all of us. If you know Andrew, you know he's a homebody, or as Patrick says "He's a hobbit like his mother." only, he means hermit not hobbit . . . I may be short, but I'm not a hobbit. Sorry . . . major bunny trail. Anyway, I know we're leaving him in good hands, and he'll get to consume massive quantities of junk and play too many video games and watch way too much t.v. He'll be happy as a clam, but I'm going to miss him like crazy.

I've probably read and prayed Psalm 91 more in the last few weeks than ever before, and I somehow don't think I'm going to let up anytime soon. It definitely helps me keep my crazy emotions under some semblance of control. And if your so inclined, would you say a prayer for us? For peace . . . for health . . . and for a fantastic and safe Trip 1.

Have a great rest of the weekend everyone!


Lainie McKeating said...

Exciting! And praying. :)

Connie Hensley said...

Good things come to those who wait...i t ' s been a looong arduous endeavor for your family Court......but we are all behind you and praying for Godspeed in the last "leg" of this journey and that this child will bring you joy and your family will be a blessing to her......she needs you

Nicole said...

You've got this, Courtney. God has been preparing you and been preparing your heart (and your daughter's heart) for this exact moment. A thousand Blessings to you.